Monday, May 24, 2010

Suicide and Redemption

I don't understand why i don't jump off my balcony. What's stoppin me ?? My condition has gone from bad to worse these last few days....I'm struggling to find reasons to keep going on.

I hate anything i don't understand the purpose of. So right now i'm pretty much hating myself the most among other things. I feel i need a good friend. Its getting unbearable to be alone all by myself any longer. I need a partner in crime. Someone who thinks like i do, who is full of distrust and hate for this world for making growing up so fuckin difficult. Someone who has even the slightest idea about what i'm thinkin will do.

Meanwhile, i guess i'll keep on debating with myself whether or not i'm gonna jump. Its the classic cliff hanger. Perhaps i won't jump. Maybe i'm a coward too. Add that to shot at PR and idiot on paper and you get complete failure. I guess you are none better readin something written by an idiot...

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