Everything is wierd....it seems i've lost the ability to think sanely, or what i thought was sanely. So many decisions to take and none have a nice alternative. It seems whatever i'll do, i'm set to lose something. What do i do ?? "don't make a choice until there's only one way left" doesn't sound very promising now....

Secret to Happiness

Some very foreign feelings are taking hold of my brain these days. Its good and weird at the same time. Good because it feels i'm happy, but weird because its all alien. It's like a new birth. Its like i'm being happy for the first time in my life. And i don't understand how to handle it.

I'm getting a feeling, again, that success is highly overrated. Success at anything. When you reach the top, you don't get the feeling you imagined having when you were plannin getting to the top. On the other hand, if you fall upon lady luck and get successful unexpectedly, you would perhaps get the feeling you'd probably plan for. A feeling of pure elation and pride and happiness and contentment. This perhaps is the only reason why most people like surprises. And this perhaps is the only reason why people on a subconscious level want to go where life leads them, not plan the whole path.

What's the point ?? The point is that the most divine feelings are often unplanned for. You never get what you expect, hence the never ending quest for perfection, hoping that someday you'd be happy. The secret is not expecting anything. Then even the smallest of things will seem the best things in this world.

That is what i believe the secret to happiness. Pretty lame, huh ?

Imbroglio

It was a pleasant surprise, getting a within 20k rank in AIEEE. This has certainly boosted my chances of getting into a good college. But, still no sign of me getting a new phone. I exceed expectations at every exam i give, and still nobody is happy with my performance. Nothing is ever enough. That just proves it, work for yourself. If you feel happy doing something, do it. Don't search for other's approval. After all, its you whose happiness matters the most, not somebody else's.

I don't understand people. They just can't seem to see through lies that are as transparent as lies can be. Everybody's got this unbelievable belief that everything's alright. That's just plain ignorance. Where have the good old days gone when we used to say "everything's gonna be alright" not "everything's alright" ?? Is truth so hard to accept ?? I dont know any statistics but suicide due to academics among the recent adults, anywhere in the world, is probably the highest in this country. There's news of a result related suicide almost everyday in the months from february to may, the examination months. And still people keep pouring praise over India's education system being the most successful all over the world et al. Either the country is full of brain dead individuals or they're too programmed to not question the system.

Believe me, i've seen such fury over one simple question regarding the system i almost believed that the Kremlin is operating undercover in New Delhi. The fierce defence of the system is reminiscent of the stories i've heard about possible rebels being carted off to gulags in Siberia due to just a slip of tongue. I just can't believe it. Last year, there was this girl who committed suicide even after getting 92.9%. The apparent reason was that she couldn't get admission to the college of her choice. Well, 92.9% are good marks. If you're not rewarded for such marks then it can mean only two things, either any undeserving moron can score those marks or those deserving cannot be rewarded by our great country. If its the former, then why do we have these examinations, if they don't quantify a person's intelligence. On the other hand, if the system cannot reward the deserving, then why do we so blindly resist any change to it and follow a course that is doomed from the beginning ??

I believe the problem is in both of these things. Neither is the system of admissions right nor is the system of examinations. Anybody can score good marks in examinations. They need not be intelligent. All you need is a little bit of hardwork and a little bit of determination to beat the system. Whats missing ?? Intelligence, of course. Hardwork and Determination though necessary, cannot or rather, should not take the place of intelligence. Yet, that is what happens. That is what's happening. Then, the system of admissions bases intelligence on these marks. They are aware of this problem with the examinations, so they, in a bid to get the intelligent students, increase the cutoffs to such enormous levels that there is no place for intelligence in the tests for eligibility, but just hardwork. So, how will the intelligent be rewarded ?? Simple, they won't be.

The SAT's are in my opinion, the only true tests of intelligence, among those which i know about. They stress more on concentration than hardwork. Two thirds of the total marks are solely dependent on a person's intelligence, the english section. No matter how much you practice, you can't beat your intelligence in that test. Because its your own ideas, your outlook towards life and your interpretations of stuff that will decide your marks. Compare this to the english examinations of the Boards, where a person who can't speak for more than two minutes in english can score full marks.

India needs its own version of the SAT's for admission to colleges and universities. Because if the stress stays on hardwork instead of intelligence, then this country will stay here rooted to the dark ages, dependent on some truly intelligent people, who haven't been broken by the society, to provide brief bursts of progress. What we probably need the most is a sense of questioning. A sense of understanding as to why something is wrong and why something is happening. If we don't, we'll still remain on the intellectual level of the people who ran our country 500 years ago......