29.08.10

Another week's gone by....or is it two ?? Sorry, cant remember....life's goin just too fast. I sure would like to have a couple of days to figure out, where i'm headin to.

It's absolutely unforgivable when at some moments i feel that life's borin, and the next every single floodgate decides that its time to try and destroy another city of dreams. Its abso-fuckin-lutely unfair. What's even more unfair is not knowing why i'm writin this. Where is all this coming from ??

It seems i've suddenly fallen into an abyss and the only way i can come out is by blurting out every damn thing that comes in my mind. My apologies to anyone who made the mistake of starting to read this post, hope you haven't gone into some unpronounciable mental state. And my apologies to anyone who feel like pelting boulders at me.....

14.08.10

Life's returning to where it always was.....i guess some things are never meant to change. Maybe thats what destiny is. You get something and you gotta live with it. Maybe thats what i'm getting to know now. I'm learning some new things about me, most of them from the most unlikely sources, from me.

There are some things i am accepting now, knowing now. There's a reason why i'm never happy. Because i'm always second guessing myself. Every little thing i do, i can't help but question the morality, the reality and the practicality of the decision i've taken. So what am i ?? A goddamn control freak ?? Maybe thats what i am. I know how i always say i need someone to tell me that whatever i think about myself isn't true, it won't be any use. I would only question it, Aloud or in my head. Is that what destiny is ?? You're given a gift that is really a curse and you gotta live with it ?? I guess it is....If it is then i guess all we can do is hope.....All we can do is hope that we'll someday break these shackles that continue to bind us no matter how much we try to break them.....

Its funny, we're taught all through our life, that to question is healthy, yet i'm regretting this ability of mine. Why can't i take anything for what it is ?? Why not even my own feelings ?? Why a gift is causing me so much agony within me ?? Can this ever be fixed....can i ever learn to love, to understand what i feel ?? What do i have but hope and a nagging feeling that i wont be able to do that by myself....

12.08.10

Its been a long time since i last wrote something here.....To be honest, hostel makes you lazy. Its always a tussle for time control between food, games, sleep and homework. I've even stopped reading and the latest book i've been reading has consumed more than two weeks, even though its quite fast paced and interesting. Maybe its time to reinvent myself.

College life on the other hand has failed to deliver a majority of promises it had seemingly made, in my opinion. The winner is hostel life and not the actual college life.

I also woke up to a harsh reality last week. My fitness is nowhere near what i would call accetable, and what's worse is that i'm too lazy to do anything about it.

We have a 'fresher''s party on friday. Seems like we're gonna have some fun there. Really i haven't looked forward to any parties except those that were on my birthdays but i am quite strangely looking forward to this one.

As they say, we'll wait and watch what happens.