4.09.10

What does it take to be drenched in utter, complete sadness in a moment ? Absolutely nothing. You're left thunderstruck, completely out of the blue. Why do i always bring my and everybody other's mood down to these trenches where i recide ?

I dont understand, now i'm fearing i never will. I just fall down into states of so immense sadness, i dont know what to make of it. Suddenly, there's everybody asking "what happened to you ??" and i've got no idea what to answer to them.

i dont know when it all started, but i know when its gonna end. When i die. I know longer believe there is "the one" who'll make me happy. 'Cause i'm doomed to forever stay like this. I would only make her sad coz she wont understand me, but nobody's gonna understand that i don't understand myself either.......